Thirteen years ago today, I stood at an altar and gazed upon my bride walking down the aisle of a church on her dad's arm. I could not believe how absolutely radiant she looked. She had a smile that would rival the lights of Paris, at least in my eyes. It is in the spirit of this that I want to share with you today. Men please don't tune this out or click away. You'll want to read this.
I think the part of being a minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ that brings me the most joy, short of leading someone in the sinner's prayer, is performing weddings. I love them. I guess I am a bit of a sap that way. It is fun doing the pre-marital counseling. I chuckle as young couples try to figure out what married life is going to be like and learn the tools of an effective marriage. They haven't got a clue, but they have lots of answers. On the wedding day it's great seeing the beautiful brides and the nervous grooms. Everyone there is smiling and enjoying themselves.
When we finally get to the day where we talk about the ceremony in the pre-marital counseling, one of the things discussed is the vows. I ask if they want traditional vows or do they want something more modern. Maybe they even want to write their own vows. It's their day and they should make it what means the most to them. Many modern brides do not like a single simple word in the traditional vows. That word is obey. It's a shame really, because we often do not understand what Paul is telling wives when he was writing to the Ephesians. There is one simple answer to this. Husbands have a tendency to stop reading Ephesians 5 at verse 24, or at best gloss over the next five verses. The flesh likes the seemingly absolute power that appears to be granted here.
Paul goes on to say in Ephesians 24:25, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her". I do not doubt that the majority of husbands love their wives. I do however think that a much smaller number of husbands love their wives as Christ loves the church. This my friends is why modern brides do not like the word obey in their vows. Too often men play the head of household card or the I'm the man/provider card and forget that we are to love our wives as Christ loves the church. Christ gave up His life so the church could be birthed. Guys, are you ready to give up your life for your wife? Are you ready to give up who you are as an individual, and be joined together with your wife creating a new corporate identity? Are you ready to derive joy from that?
In Ephesians 5:28 - 29 Paul goes on to say, "So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church." See there. Just as the Lord does the church. That's present tense folks. Christ loves the church today and continually serves His people. He continually intercedes for us at the right hand of the Father in Heaven. He continually speaks to us and guides us. Are we treating our wives the same way? Are we focusing our all on them as if they are the most important thing in our life? I hope so because our wives are. Marriage is supposed to show us what our relationship with the Lord is supposed to look like. It requires communication, understanding and love. It requires grace and mercy. It requires selflessness more than anything else.
So today friends, in honor of my 13th wedding anniversary, I want to encourage you. Love your wives. Love them so much that they want to love you, honor you, and obey you. That your wife wants to stay with you for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, until death do you part. Friends, it is never too late to renew your vows with your spouse and you don't need to have a ceremony to do it. It is never too late to let them know how much you love them and honor and respect them. In short; Husbands, love your wives.
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