In The Wake of Tragedy

I grew up near the waters of Long Island Sound. My grandparents lived on a canal that lead out into the sound and had a motorboat. I always enjoyed going out in their boat, or going out in the rowboat with my dad. I remember school trips on the Thames River with Project ‘O’ and learning about the ocean and things of the sea. One of the things I always enjoyed about being on the water was watching the wake from the boat. That was one of the things that amazed me when I was stationed on a nuclear submarine. The wake the submarine left was less than that made by my grandparent’s motorboat or the research vessel with Project ‘O’. I learned that the wake a vessel leaves behind has little to do with vessel size, but much to do with the design of the vessel. That is the summation of my knowledge of naval architecture and aqua-dynamic engineering. It is also the beginning of my understanding of how to cope and work through the wake of tragedy in our lives.

Tragedy leaves a wake. Sometimes we refer to it as the storms of life. Frankly, sometimes tragedy seems more like a storm than a wake that roughens the ride a little bit but they have the same effect. I have had the opportunity to be with people while they travel through the wake of a tragedy as a lay person and as a minister and chaplain. Often people feel so helpless while they are being bounced about by the wake. They can’t get their bearings, they can’t get control of the direction they are going, and they seem to not be able to make any headway. People stuck in this wake always have one common question, “Why?” The interesting thing about that question is there is no acceptable answer. There is no aha moment that comes that brings instant clarity. There is just the wake.

Here’s the good news. We don’t have to stay stuck in the wake of that tragedy. We don’t have to stay in the spot where we are bounced about and have no direction and can’t seem to make any headway. We don’t have to sit in despair. God has created us to endure. God created us to be resilient. The Master Architect and Engineer has created us in such a way that if we keep moving, we can cut through the wakes that are left by tragedy and storms in our lives. Much like the naval architects that design submarines to slip through the water with the slightest of wake, God has designed us to move through the waters of life. The key is to keep moving.

I have observed a commonality of people who seem to be stuck in despair due to situational crisis. They all tend to stop. They shut down. They lose forward momentum. They then get overwhelmed by the wake of the situation and get tossed about. Once you are there, it is difficult to get out on your own. It’s like being a cork in the ocean tossed about. It can be an extremely bumpy and sickening ride. They need the help of another who is not stuck in the same wake, who can toss them a line and pull them so they can get headway going again. Again, that is part of God’s design for us, to be there for one another. That is a part of what the Bible means to not forsake gathering together. We need to be there for one another, through thick and thin.

There are other questions people ask when faced with tragedy. “Why would God allow this?” “If God is love, why is there hate in this world?” “I have served God faithfully, why am I enduring this?” These are all common and I will more than likely address them in the future. In the meantime, remember, God has designed us to exacting specifications that can endure. Just keep moving. Don’t stop. With forward motion you can make it through. If you stop, you will get swallowed up in the wake of tragedy. Be there for one another. Be ready to throw someone a line to help pull them out of a rough spot. Be ready to listen and know you probably don’t have the answers, but you do know the way to calmer waters.